DEAR SOON TO BE 30 YEAR OLD ME

Dear soon to be 30 year old me,

First of all.... DANG girl, you old! 30 always seemed to be some far away age that was so inconceivable to imagine reaching. But here we are, turning 30. This has been a deadline you had hoped to accomplish so much by, but so much is still left undone.... But just because it’s undone doesn’t mean it will never be.

Look back at the last 29 years.... Look at all you HAVE accomplished, all that you have faced, and all that you have survived. Things you never wanted to face and never thought you’d survive you did.... The losses, of both the still living and now deceased, you thought would end you.... yet you are still here. The heartache you never wanted- opened your eyes and grew you and you are stronger for it. The people that are no longer a part of your life only showed you who was really truly there for YOU, not just out of convenience or opportunity for them. Don’t let the past turn you hard.... God blessed you, yes blessed you, with a tender and compassionate heart. Always keep your softness.

Instead of dreading this age of being “ancient” with so many things left “undone”, choose to see it as the climactic part of your story God has been leading up to. The part to you that is unseen and unwritten. At the risk of sounding cheese, to quote one of the greatest white girl anthems of all time....
“Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten”
Choose to see this new decade of life as an unwritten novel. Just because your 20s were less than stellar, doesn’t mean that your 30s aren’t going to renew your spirit and your hope. Everyday is a new start. And new chance. FIND JOY IN THAT. Choose to see the good in this new, instead of the dread you have always felt. Give God the opportunity to blow your mind with blessings, and trust Him that the novel He is writing is better than the one you were....

Will there be hard times? probably. It’s life and sometimes it just sucks. But look at all you have faced! And you are still standing and breathing. There is still joy in your heart, despite the pain and hopelessness you have felt and endured. There is still grace. There is strength that came from your weakest and lowest of places.... 30 is not as bad as you think! It is new. It is fresh. It is a reflection of how far you have come and a start to all that is coming....

So look at 30 with hope and enthusiasm. You are stronger than you know.... You are kind. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. You are soft. You are wise. You are His. God has you, and God has your 30s. Let’s go!

Ps....
Naps are good,
saying no is okay,
self care is wayyyyy more important than you think,
don’t fall into the same traps you did before,
yes- he really was pond scum, no- it wasn’t your fault,
yes- you really need that water- PLEASE DRINK THE WATER!,
No- you cannot pull an all-nighter anymore,
Keep God a priority.... It’s never the wrong idea,
Yes- Trusting God even when you have no idea what He is doing or see nothing at all in the works is much better than trying to make your own way.

PPS...
Be nice to yourself, you’re pretty incredible.