"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done" Philippians 4:6
I am a self proclaimed worrier. i worry about absolutely everything, and what makes it a deathly match is that I struggle with being patient. If I want something done, i want it right then, and if it's not right then, I worry. See? its a vicious circle.
I will find myself worrying about the littlest stuff..... Is my hair ok? Did my make up run? Do I smell ok? does this outfit make me look tubbier than i already am? Did i do well enough on that test? VICIOUS CYCLE!!!! It is an absolute curse. I am constantly worrying about something..... And what does it do for me? absolutely nothing. I often worry that i am not good enough and what i can do to change it, which I know is just my low self-esteem talking. I look at myself and see nothing really of worth or importance. I know deep down that that isnt true, but it is an everyday struggle inside me. I know that it is just Satan trying to get to me, but I go back to the mentality of where is my easy button?
But like i said before, just because I'm a Christian doesnt mean I deserve and easy life or an easy button for it. God has been merciful in my life and providing so many blessing that I forget to praise him for at times because I am so consumed with worry. God says that we can turn all our worries over to him, and he will give us peace. I am a control freak when it comes to my life. I want to have control of everything that happens. But in reality, it is not completely mine to live. My life belongs to god. He gave me life, and at any moment He can take it from me. My life's goal is to live a life that I can be proud of, and when I get to heaven god will tell me "Well done my good and faithful servant, well done." It is hard to keep your mind focused on that goal when all you do is worry.
So everyday, I'm trying to get stronger and be able to rely on God more for patience and give up my control freak worrying ways. It is not the easiest thing to do, but in time it will come.... until then, I will just keep on focusing on Philippians 4:6 =)
